Don’t Worry – It’s Not Personal
By Marion Highman
Sometimes we can be super-sensitive and ‘perceive’ some slight against us, (where none is intended), and then we take things personally! What has happened to our power in that moment? We do not seem to have any inner peace or inner power anymore. Where and how did we lose it? And is it possible to reclaim that power?
We want to be in-charge, but cannot be ‘in charge’ of our own mind sometimes. Sadly, in a world of likes and dislikes on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter and Snapchatting and whatever else, people want everything to be instant. But what we forget is that what comes with this will sometimes be the instant problems too. Which we then wish were not so instant!! That being ‘in-charge’ or in control seems to apply to everything except our own self!
Why does the soul lack what we could call today some backbone, resilience, tolerance or inner strength? Remember resilience is a power. When Jesus said ‘turn the other cheek’ he was not being a wimp or simpleton. What he was saying was: Call a halt and stop it right there. Nip it in the bud so to speak.
Is it difficult to realize that a reactive ego state means we are just giving away our own power? Not only that, but we have then reinforced a negative habit, which means that now we have a low energy vibration of anger and upset which could lead to depression. If we could stay in our power, nothing and no-one could upset us. We would be so firmly anchored in our self-respect that we would choose not to become upset; we would value and keep hold of our power. So what are we putting out there? What will we be attracting back to ourselves?
“No one can make you feel inferior
without your consent.”
Eleanor Roosevelt
Whenever we have a feeling of insult or injury, it simply means that we are in a state of the ego mind. Someone in a place of self-respect can never feel disrespected. It is not what others are doing or not doing that is the issue, it is how we are receiving or interpreting what those people are doing that is the problem. We only see that they are doing ‘this’ to us. Often, these people are not doing anything that is especially targeted at us, but we are choosing to take it in that way.
Maybe they are the same with everyone, but our sensitivity on this day, for whatever reason, has been triggered. Yes, there are occasions when stuff is directed our way, but we always have a choice as to whether to take that stuff on board or not. But when we are confused and sensitive we tend to be reactive and have no power to accommodate anything.
If someone puts a hot coal in our hand, then we would not be surprised that we got burnt. The wise person would choose not to take it. Best not take that thing of sorrow knowingly and then complain that we are hurt and sad because of it. But this is what we do. We do it all the time. We are looking to offload our guilt, blame, responsibility and accountability onto anyone or anything. Such is the state of our world today. Few souls have the honesty to put their hands up and say: “Yep. I am responsible…” If I am able to admit this, then my power remains in my own hands.
Now why is that? Are we weak willed? Do we lack knowledge? Is it due to our parents, education or culture? What is happening? Why have we lost the will and the insight to know that our power comes in being responsible for our thoughts, words and actions? When we own it, then we can change it. When we think someone else is responsible, we feel hopeless, powerless, angry and resentful. So take your power back. Be responsible. Face down the issue from a place of peace and self-respect. Speak where you need to, and let go of that which is not important in the long run. When we accept responsibility for our self then we can accept our power and we can begin to shine our light out into the world.
Now what happens when we take things personally? We take whatever it was… the words and actions to heart. Whether by commission or omission we take things into our heart and mind. We hold onto that sorrow. So who suffers then? Well, we do! But, what happens is that incubated pain and suffering over time will spill out into the world and onto other souls in both random and specific ways. As bystanders in our life, they become the victims of our pain and hurt.
We would call this living in a culture of fear, anger and violence, which we seem to have just accepted. But, what is acceptable here? Why are we accepting anger and violence as part of our culture and normalizing it? Anger and violence are not normal states of living. We have just not stood in the love and peace powerfully enough and so these negative states have become normalized. In fact, these things which are not even normal, but we have been complicit in our acceptance of them to such a degree that we even call them natural!! What do we say? ‘It is only natural to be… upset… angry… jealous… or whatever.’ Such that we do not even question the presence of these negative states in our lives!
“Respect yourself and others
will respect you.”
Confucius
The ego fears exposure and humiliation and is forever trying to protect itself. Remember that no one can insult us if we are sitting in a state of natural self-respect. But, if we are sitting in an ego state, well there is then a wide margin for us ‘to take it personally’ and to take sorrow and become upset. It is good to know that life is not personal. Life just is… a gift. It is up to us how we choose to live our life. Let us learn to live with love, grace and acceptance.
It’s Time… not ‘to take things personally’ anymore but to take responsibility for our own feelings. This is our point of power. When we can do this we have taken power back into our own hands.