Afraid to Love

Posted on 11th Nov 2012

There are two major forces in the world that people are driven by and they are fear and love.  Where there is fear, love cannot exist and where there is love, fear cannot exist.  Ask yourself, which force drives you?

Right now, this moment is a perfectly pure moment.  However, with a resentful attitude, and fear combined with worry about the future means that we adulterate this very precious moment of our life now.

Many studies have indicated that there are only two basic emotions from which all other emotions arise: love and fear.  Love gives rise to joy, generosity, kindness, happiness, fulfillment, peace, beauty and much more.  By contrast, fear brings insecurity, doubts, including self-doubt, dislike, sadness, worry, animosity, anxiety, confrontation, uncertainty and the list is endless.

In his book ‘Life Unlocked’, Harvard psychotherapist Dr. Srinivasan Pillay draws from cutting-edge research in psychology and neuroscience to show that the biggest roadblock to happiness is fear.  Brain imaging studies reveal that when fear is reframed, a person can become less fearful.  In fact, fear itself does not cause anxiety—fear of fear is what causes anxiety and dread.

Some fears are justified while others are ‘man made’ due to letting our imagination run wild.  Fearful thoughts arise when the mind is weak, and where there is self-doubt and low self-esteem.  Then with the imagination we add a few creative spices to make the fear story gory and grisly.  Fears may often have little substance if any, but we enjoy them!  They bring a thrill to our lives and create an adrenalin rush that is very often mistaken as a form of happiness.

Depending on our childhood experience of love we will either welcome love or reject it.  Perhaps there was fear of accepting love because the love we received in our childhood was at often times measured when it was given.  If we excelled we were rewarded with love and if we made a mistake we were punished by being sent to our bedroom or a corner of the classroom.  Hence this relationship between love and fear started very early on in our childhood.

In later years we applied the same strategy to our adult relationships. If someone did what WE believed to be right we rewarded them with our love otherwise we withdrew our love and they were punished with the silent treatment.

Someone who is a bestower of love sets in motion a particular dynamic of love, whereby that soul is always surrounded by love, no matter where they go.  Even if such a soul finds themselves amongst strangers they give and receive love, and not fear, because love is the only language of this soul.  The receiver melts when spoken to with love, they drop their defenses and in turn respond with love.

People who walk the path of truth have clean hearts, their karma is clean and they are humbled by their experience of life through understanding the true nature of love.  They don’t play the game of waiting for others to give love first for they have an abundance of divine love naturally and give graciously in an unconditional way without measure – they take the first step and are not afraid to love.

Yet, it seems that as we get older, we become more afraid to love because of all our past experience of hurt and pain which continues to shrink our hearts.  By holding onto the pain of the past we continue to keep our hearts small and block out love in our life, not only that love which we could give, but also we keep ourselves distant from the love we could receive.

People who are not accustomed to the experience of divine love, may find it difficult to understand the notion of spiritual love.  In fact some even find it suffocating and stifling while others interpret a gesture of love as a sexual advance.

Taking love from the Supreme cleans and heals our hearts, making them pure and whole once again, because it is only God’s love which can heal the soul.  God’s love is both eternal and unconditional.  God loves with a big heart, even when the Supreme knows all our weaknesses, just as a parent has love for the child even though he will make mistakes and not always get things right, the parent’s love is always there.

It’s time… to become a bestower of love and to love with an open heart once again.  Learn how to live with love and without fear.  Stop the imagination running wild!  Check your thoughts and the motivation behind them; is it love or fear?  And if its true pure love, you need never fear again!

Share these thoughts!
It’s Time is spreading far and wide! Feel free to forward this wisdom, but to avoid any karmic rebound, please acknowledge its source –
‘It’s Time’ by Aruna Ladva, BK Publications London

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