Sorrow Makes Us Bitter People
“An eye for an eye leaves the whole blind…”
Mahatma Gandhi has been given credit for this famous quote which is so true.
As we experience sorrow, we feel justified in giving others sorrow. And even if we are not giving sorrow to the one who gave us sorrow we are still giving sorrow to others.
Simply by the number of times we speak of that sorrow to others and wallow in it, we are giving sorrow to those around us who care for our welfare and only wish for our happiness. They are affected because they have heard the story of sorrow, and their attachment to us makes that sorrow stick to them in some way. Their vision and interaction with that other person will now change, because of us, maybe they had no personal issue with this person themselves, but now this virus has started to spread. Is this not how conflict and wars begin given enough time and energy?
As described by most dictionaries, sorrow is the pain or grief we feel from a loss of someone or something, a misfortune or dis-appointment. Sorrow is different to pain. Pain is more physical, whereas sorrow is related more to the mind. With physical pain medicine can bring some relief, but for the sorrows of the soul – well only God can heal those.
Someone may intend to give you sorrow, but it is up to you whether you take that sorrow or not? If someone gives you a sweet gift you will surely take that. But if someone gives you a garbage bin filled with rubbish, will you take that? Certainly not! And if you don’t take it, who does it stay with? With the person holding it! So let it stay with them. YOU CAN CHOOSE not to take it on.
We greatly under estimate the power of choice that we have. No matter if we have made poor choices in the past, no worries. Who has not made a mistake in their life? Those mistakes can often take us on the path of greater learning. Maybe next time we will learn to make wiser choices in life.
Now let’s say that someone has taken the sorrow at some point during their day… then what happens next? There will be several waste thoughts about the person who was the cause of that sorrow. There may also be ill feeling towards that person. We may see them excel on the ladder to success and may get jealous, we may wish that they would fall down that ladder and break a bone or two! These kind of thoughts do not leave US feeling good.
So let’s review the situation here and see what happened… this person gave us sorrow… we get all het up about it… we lose our temper… we come into negative feelings… heated emotions… even anger can mean that some hot words are exchanged… our mind and heart are filled with bad wishes for them and their success… So how could all this possibly be good for us? It can’t! So, what to do? We have to learn to not go there! At this time meditation and any kind of reflective practice will help us. We will be doing ourselves a great favour in life if we can learn to master our thoughts and feelings.
We have to realize that WE WANT TO BECOME FREE FROM SORROW. Sorrow is not as the psychologists say, ‘a normal feeling to feel’. Sorrow never comes in the list of natural qualities, or powers of the soul. Don’t believe them when they say that you need a little sorrow to experience the happiness. That’s baloney!
That is like saying you need to be sick to appreciate wellness! Why not just appreciate being well in the first place? Why pour a bucket of cold water, so to speak, over that feeling, well-ness, happiness or anything? It is in our appreciation of the good things in our life that we can attract more of the same. Of course this law of energy equally applies to the negative that a worrisome mind can conjure up!
So this is the point. When we take in sorrow, then we do not feel like nice people. It is like we have taken some poison into our mind and heart. We become horrible… We become bitter. We just give sorrow to others because that is what we are filled with inside. So, what will come out from us? It will be that which is inside. All those toxic thoughts and feelings are just looking for some way to get out. This is why we have to take care of our mind and our thoughts and feelings. This is our responsibility.
It is just like when we have eaten a food that does not agree with us. Perhaps we have some allergy or whatever, then we will become sick. For the soul that sickness can manifest itself in our thoughts and feelings as sadness, unhappiness, some form of upset, being out of balance or even depression.
That is why it is so important to be aware and to be vigilant. To take care of our mind. Avoid taking sorrow from people and things. If something is not going right, it doesn’t matter. Our first and only effort is to keep our mind positive and happy. When we take care of our mind and our inner well-being, then all the rest will sort itself out naturally.
If I have taken sorrow, then I will become weak. Taking in positivity will make me strong. Strong mind, strong heart, strong will. Good thoughts, good feelings, good intentions and good actions, then from those good ingredients a good life will follow.
It takes a HUGE heart to forgive the person who has hurt you and further to have good wishes for them. Either way the sorrow stays with us unless we are doing the inner work to release and heal it with love and forgiveness.
It’s Time… to care of our mind and heart. If we want a sweet life, then this will be the best line of defence against the toxic thoughts and feelings of sorrow. CHOOSE TO BE HAPPY.
© ‘It’s Time…’ by Aruna Ladva, BK Publications London, UK