Love the Life You Live!
Are you living the life you want? Or are you waiting for it to happen… suddenly… one fine day?
And is it that you have to ‘get’ to the life you want before you can start loving it? Or is it perhaps that you learn to love your life right now, and then life will happen ‘for’ you and not just ‘to’ you?
What is Love?
What is Life?
What is real Living?
Love should be synonymous with life and living and vice versa.
Love means to totally accept the object of your love and not to resist it. When you say you ‘love’, it means you accept. When you say you love a person, it means you love all aspects of that person. Love means not to doubt or question. The same applies when you love your job or you love your pet. You may see some shortcomings, but love makes you go beyond everything. Your focus is primarily on what is lovely and what is working, and not on that which is not working.
What is the feeling of being in love? That euphoric feeling that makes you feel you are on top of the world; that anything is possible. So, learning to love our life means to stay positive and focused on what is working i.e. alive, ‘living’ and not ‘dead’.
For this you can also use the appreciative enquiry method. This was a process that started being applied in the corporate world, but which can easily relate to all aspects of our life. This theory begins by asking the question: What is working in your life? For example, companies always looked at what was the 10% or 20% that was not working… but what about that 80% or 90% that was working? So Appreciative Inquiry agents thought let us focus on what is working, and do more of that. What a brilliant idea? So too, make a list of all that is working in your life, and you will see that there is a lot to be grateful for.
What is life? Life is the drama of events that happens around you all day, every moment of the day. You call it a drama, because you are enjoying this drama. You are to enjoy the good, the bad and the ugly of the drama. Everything that happens, well it happens for a reason. You are reading this article for a reason.
Love it all. Watch the traffic jam without a reaction. Watch your child’s tantrum without emotion – you can speak to them later, but you first need to learn to accept without resistance. Do not dislike or hate it. If you hate, again that implies that you do not accept it. That you are looking for something different. And that means you are not happy!
What is living? Living means to “BE”. Living does not mean to do, as many people think! Everyone has a limited number of days to live; they are numbered. We ask people: How was your day? Let me ask you: How was your day? How would you measure it, in terms of how much you accomplished or in terms of how happy you were? Even if it was about how productive you were, it’s the pleasure or satisfaction that you derived from all that experience that is the true measure of your day. You may have a false belief about living, that if you are ‘doing’ a lot only then are you living, but that belief is not healthy. It is really a question of how happy were you through all that ‘doing’ that is the real living, the rest is just survival.
The true meaning of loving and living requires you to live in alignment with your purpose. You are most unhappy when things do not go the way you planned, or the way you wished for them to go. But who is to blame here? If you ordered a credit card and it didn’t arrive, who is to be blamed? If you were planning a holiday and it didn’t happen, who is to be blamed? If you were setting your sights on studying further and it never happens, then who is to be blamed? Surely there is not some conspiracy out there. You are always there. It is… ‘Me, myself and I’.
Because somewhere inside of you, you did not have the faith that you could make it happen. You were not in your self-respect. You did not believe you were deserving, or that you could attract such a thing in your life. So, the energy you were putting out was of fear and doubt. Well it turns out, that whatever you give your energy to, the thoughts of your mind, then that is what you make come true. And so of course the card doesn’t arrive on time, because you want to be right! This is the question to ponder…
“Do you want to be right, or do you want to be happy?
Forgive yourself and stop punishing yourself.”
So back to alignment and purpose. If you are really living in alignment with your purpose, then what you think is what you will say and what you will do. All three will follow in a domino effect. With no doubt, and no question.
When you are in control of your life, think about it, is this not what truly makes you happiest? When you have a thought about that friend, and they turn up or call you i.e. remember you back. What a nice feeling that is. When you have a thought about a certain special type of food and it arrives in some shape or form. For example a friend brings that food to work or you are invited out and the restaurant chosen for you has that same delicacy.
Isn’t that like heaven? That you just have a thought and it happens… But be careful not to sabotage those thoughts…
There is a story of the man who got to paradise…
He sat down under the desire tree. (YES, there is such a tree in paradise, sitting under which, you can immediately fulfil any of your desires. You just need to think about it, (your desire), and so he thought: “I am hungry, it would be nice to have a bite to eat right now.” As he just thought about this, a table full of different dishes that he was thinking about appeared right before him.
“Wow!” – The man was surprised: – “But it can’t be!” – He thought, and the table with the dishes disappeared immediately. “It would be nice to get it back!” – And the dishes appeared again.
He ate plenty of food – he had never eaten such tasty food before. After satisfying his hunger he thought: “It would be nice to drink something.” – Then a perfect wine appeared immediately, because there are no restrictions in paradise.
Lying in the shadow of the tree and drinking wine, he started wondering: “Why do these miracles happen? It just can’t be that everything would be so good – probably some ghosts are playing a joke on me.”
Suddenly the ghosts appeared. They were terrible and looked just like he had imagined them.
The man became scared and thought: “Now they will kill me!”
And they did!!
There is a moral to the story:
Be careful what you wish for, because sometimes you might well get it and it will not be to your liking!
Focus on Something Metaphysical and Not Just Physical
Everything physical, such as money and relationships are limited and governed by time and space. Today you have a hundred pounds and tomorrow it’s gone! Today you have your best friend around, tomorrow, she can get married and move on in life. But when you simply focus on the amount of money, then it means nothing. What experience did you take from the money? What did the money enable you to do? That is what is priceless. Focus on the quality of time spent with someone and that leaves a beautiful memory to be cherished for all time. Because in this way you will always be connected from the heart.
Money Does Not = Happiness
Is it necessary to have lots of money to enjoy life? No. Ask me! I enjoy my life a lot and it’s not because of millions in my bank account. I really do enjoy meeting different people and learning from life, and every moment and experience is precious in the album of my life. A millionaire can have all the money, but no one to enjoy it with. He can be sitting home alone, feeling depressed with no true friend to get him out of that rut!
Live Within Your Means
How much is enough to live happily? And how much stress am I willing to endure to stay happy? You can work 18-20 hours per day, but at what price? Do not spend more money than you have. Do not make promises you cannot keep. Do not commit to time that you cannot give. Because when you don’t deliver, it makes you unhappy. Then you become an unhappy bunny. You may well fall into the guilt trap and are then forever trying to come out of it. You may ask for forgiveness and make further promises, but… what changes?
Focus on Good Karma
You can have a lot of money and never have to think about how much you are spending. But what about your karma? Is that account equally stocked up? A natural calamity can spoil your day or your life. Money cannot buy you out of your karma. There is that powerful scene in the film Titanic when the ship is sinking. The guy with all the wealth tries to bribe the captain by giving him money so he can get into a lifeboat to safety. And the captain just throws the money into the air… it had no value! You will love what you do if you stay true to your principles, then you can sleep at night without a fear or regret.
Good karma gives you the promise of freedom that nothing else in the world can give you. When you do good charitable deeds, nothing and no one can steal that away from the soul. That is the most liberating feeling to savour. Good karma gives you inner peace and happiness of the lasting type. Go out of your way to help someone today.
An Attitude of Gratitude
It is with and an attitude of gratitude in life that you find that doors of opportunity open. And you get closer to your dream and the life you want. Hence, seek no further, and just live… Do the things you love to do, from the small simple things such as eating dark chocolate, spending an afternoon with your loved ones, or buying a little gift for a friend, planting a pot of flowers in your garden, walking your dog… You do not need to be always chasing after some rainbow… it’s these little simple things in life that matter most. If you begin to be more present in your life to enjoy them, then what is really important to you will warm up and brighten your life.
Stop Living the Agenda of Others, Make Your Own Goals
Did you choose the life you are living? Or was it in a way set out by your parents? Did they disapprove of you when you were excelling in sports, but not so good in English and Maths? I often think of Roger Federer and when his father got him his first racquet at a young age. Then by 11 he was one of Switzerland’s top national junior champions! I wonder if he thought that he might become the world’s number one tennis genius on that first day. But the boy loved playing tennis and that made him happy, and it simply began when he got that racquet!! Now Roger is rich and famous and well loved by many. You would not get such a promise from a college degree!
You may feel a great degree of resentment and a huge discontentment in your life, if you are following a path in life that is not true to you. In fact, no matter how successful you are!
Be Genuine and Authentic
No matter what it is that you do in life: Just ‘be’ authentic. And ‘be’ true to yourself. Don’t ‘be’ a hypocrite. Do not try to ‘be’ perfect. There is no Mr or Mrs Perfect in the world. Do things from your heart that is all the universe asks of you. This will bring you into alignment and you will attract more of the same energy to you. Authenticity is an energy, and people feel your energy more than what you say.
Take Small Steps
I always say to new meditators that anger is not going to simply go away. Just because you now understand that getting angry is not good for you, those habits take time to change, be patient you can’t become a different person overnight. At least I have not seen one yet! Make small tilts in your rudder of life and with time, your boat of life will be directed to the destination of your heart.
Get Your Needs Met First
In Turkish there is a saying: “Acch ayer oynamaz!” That a hungry bear doesn’t dance. So too if you are empty you will only be grumpy and can’t enjoy life. Get enough sleep. Get enough nutrition. Keep the company of positive people and people with a purpose and high thinking. It’s ok to be a little selfish here, because you know too well that an empty urn cannot give water. So fill up with happiness and then life will be a joy and not a struggle.
Be Positive and You Will Love the Life You Live!
For this you need to train your mind… just as when you want to become a doctor or a seamstress, you have to go and study or train for that career. So too it is imperative that you train your mind. You have got to think positive. There is just no other way. You become the victim of your thoughts as you turn every situation into a crime scene, or a plot against you. Tell me one good reason why you should be negative? Does negativity have a higher purpose? No! Not really! And remember, that thinking about the things that you can’t have, or are not happening in your life will just make you miserable. That all comes under negative thinking. So stop that thinking!
“The only way things are going to change for you is when you change.” –Anonymous
It’s Time… learn to love the life you live. And if you do not like the life you are living, then it is best to start making those positive changes right away! Otherwise remember, the bear cannot dance away!
© ‘It’s Time…’ by Aruna Ladva, BK Publications London, UK