The Gift of Love
As Valentine’s day comes close all lovers will be asking themselves, what is the gift of love they will be giving this year? For some there will be deliberation and heart-searching in order to find ‘the perfect gift’. For others it may be an act of duty or seduction more than it is heart-felt, and for others who have no-one to buy for, it may be a time of heart-break. Certainly it’s a time of high running emotions. It can be fun or it can be fraught.
Love today can mean many things; a warm feeling, a surge of emotion, friendship, passion, enduring respect and appreciation, attachment, lust, and many other things besides. We can fall in love in a moment, we can enjoy a lifetime of contented co-habitation, or we can even switch from love to hate in a remarkably short space of time, as soaring divorce rates appear to reflect.
So what is love? Giving and taking? Taking and giving? Or offering and receiving?
In the name of giving, it’s quite easy to get trapped in the expectation of receiving something in return. So what we call giving can be less than altruistic, because it comes with strings attached. ‘Love’ in some of its modern day, commercial, and somewhat polluted forms, can be closer to a business transaction than to a deep, meaningful, spiritual experience. We give of ourselves to another, but with the proviso that they give us something back in return. Not just a return in the form of tokens, but we hope and expect that the other person will make us complete, fill in the gaps, or provide us with the happiness and sense of worthiness that we may feel we lack.
We have forgotten that love is our own natural state of being, and instead filled ourselves with the fear of the lack or the loss of it. We make the other responsible for our happiness and blame them if they do not, or cannot provide us with it.
But isn’t this the biggest mistake we make… to go looking for love outside of ourselves? Can anyone really complete us? Can two empty, expectant people really make one complete whole? Or do we need to be ‘whole’ inside of ourselves so that we have something to offer.
If love is our intrinsic nature, then we own it already. There is no need to ask (or beg) for it. I cannot ‘get’ love from anywhere outside of myself. It cannot be taken, bought or picked off a tree. It is simply that others with whom we resonate provide a trigger for those deep innate qualities of the soul to emerge. They are mirroring what we already have inside of us. So it stands to reason that if I have a good relationship with myself, then I will be able to have a good relationship with others. I will attract others who are equally self-fulfilled.
Because the inner source of spiritual love is abundant, I can share without fear, knowing that when I give from my true self – not the ego self, then I will automatically receive in return.
February, 14th should not be the only day of the year that we give the gift of our love. Let spiritual love become the bedrock of your life and you will find you are in love with everyone and everything, and the universe will respond to your love. For what we give, truly and unconditionally, we definitely will receive in return, not just once, but a dozen times over.
It’s time… to remember that because love is our intrinsic nature, the only place to look for it is inside of ourself. As we get to the heart of spiritual love, we realize that we are in love with everyone and everything. This love is reciprocated many times over, and this, is love’s gift to us.
Co-written by Aruna Ladva and Carol Lipthorpe
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