Solving Misunderstandings

Solving Misunderstandings

Misunderstandings can be so upsetting that they can spoil a good relationship within minutes. Aren’t we humbled, and sometimes ashamed, when things are drawn to our attention, and we find out the real truth behind the matter? We realise what a story our wicked mind had convinced us to believe.


Misunderstanding another’s tone of voice can also cause us pain, if we take it in the wrong way. The sender may be saying one thing, but the recipient may receive it in a different way. For example, Have you done IT!? Or, Have YOU done it!? Or, Have you DONE it!? The statements can be taken as a command, an accusation or an enquiry, depending upon how the words were received.

How many times did you feel that someone was ignoring you, and then later learned that their eye-sight was short and they didn’t see you or their hearing was bad, and they never heard your sweet hello? How often have we jumped to a judgment about someone being stupid, and found out later that they were in fact quite smart; and we were the fool for not seeing their master plan.

We also make the mistake of assuming that a person should understand what we mean i.e. be intelligent enough to pick up our thoughts, and so we refrain from stating what we think is obvious. Which in the end only makes an ass out of both you and me. The lesson, is do not ass-u-me!

misunderstanding 2Technology can play major part in creating misunderstandings. You try to call someone and at your end you hear the call ringing out, yet for the other party they neither hear it, nor see a missed call. Messages too can go astray in this gigantic cyberspace, and yet we keep having waste thoughts as to why they did not respond to our messages and calls, and as a result, we put them on our black list!

There is also the human element. I know I have missed messages on my phone and emails on my computer because there were just too many at one time. I had every intention of replying back with an appropriate, warm message, but somehow it just got overlooked. There was really no insult or snobbishness intended.

The point of all this lengthy explanation is to suggest that perhaps we need to communicate clearly and also give others the benefit of the doubt. Everything is not always as it seems and we need to just be a little patient and quiet and wait for the drama to unfold before assuming we are right.

Picture by Andrew Matthews

It’s always good to get things checked out before closing the door on someone, especially nowadays when so many factors are involved. For example, traffic does genuinely make people late, and emails do get lost and phones to get diverted. All these factors are out of our control.

What we can control, however, is our character and reputation; our patterns of behavior. If a person does have a steady record of being polite, or responsive, or caring or reliable then we find it easier to give them the benefit of the doubt. If a person is often rude and non-communicative then yes, there may be a tendency to jump to hasty conclusions.

But since we are aware of the law of karma and we know that everything eventually comes back to us… then it’s also good to stay positive and find an excuse for the other. In this way I stay open and I can manage my emotions.

It’s time… to be careful with our communications and to be clear. To not jump to conclusions and give others the benefit of the doubt, that is, if you want peace of mind.

Share these thoughts! ‘It’s Time…’ is spreading far and wide! Feel free to forward this wisdom, but to avoid any karmic rebound, please acknowledge its source – ‘It’s Time…’ by Aruna Ladva, BK Publications London

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10 Responses to “Solving Misunderstandings”

  • Rakesh Anand

    Nice clarifications about the present communications gap.
    Benefit is ultimately ours- which nicely mentioned at the end-
    Our peace of mind


    perfect article for understanding misunderstanding. Thank you.

  • dr. kavitha

    Beautifully explained with cartoons ! These are the facts which destroyed relations and hormony in my life . Now I am making efforts . Thanks . Om shanthi.

  • chander makhiajni


  • nita khanna

    Misunderstanding is a result of high ego ailment, but the root of it can be cut or shorten if expectations are kept low or lesser, and concentration on the give parts are made into strength.

  • bk.subramaniasarma

    teachings regarding building relationship is must. Please continue this type of advices-bk.subramaniasarma

  • Very true and will implement to solve my current problem
    om shanti.


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