Not Looking

Not Looking

Looking for the right life partner? Not found him or her yet? Well, look again… this time in the mirror! 
It is such a stressful occupation waiting for the other half to come along to make your life complete. And even when it happens we don’t seem to be fully satisfied.


Ever considered a life in which you don’t have to be looking for that perfect someone who will make you happy? Such a life would be freeing and liberating. Of course if Prince or Princess Charming happens to be passing your way then take your chance. But to be waiting for him or her with bated breath, refusing to get on with your life and postponing your happiness, is senseless.

It may sound paradoxical, but when one is freed from the tension and anxiety of looking for someone to pair up with, one can relax and be one’s true self. Otherwise, imagine the tortuous life of creating a personality in order to please others. Faking it and being someone they are not, simply to fit in or be accepted. Dressing in clothes and make-up that they would not otherwise. Creating certain behaviours such as smoking cigarettes and snorting cocaine just to look cool. It can be demeaning and demoralizing.

Not looking 2

A teenager recently confessed to me that she couldn’t possibly go to the shopping mall unless she had been to the salon to do her hair and make-up first! The amount of stress and tension young girls go through in order to look good and to win the champion of their heart, is growing dramatically day by day.

In days gone by matchmaking and marriage were perhaps easier as most of the onus was on parents to get their children paired while children obeyed and accepted their parent’s wishes.

I still get surprised to see mothers matchmaking in temples. What an irony. While they have one eye on God, they have the other on a potential bride to be!

Not looking 1

Of course one would argue that it’s always been the way of life to find a mate and procreate, otherwise how would the world continue? That is absolutely true. But many these days are making the choice to remain single. As the divorce rates soar, men and women are becoming more independent and creating fulfilling lives for themselves in other ways. And there is nothing wrong with that.

But for those who are still seeking… mostly the law of the universe is that when you stop looking, that is when you find what you were looking for.

Not looking 3

If your energy is one of emptiness and loneliness, then those are also the type of people you will draw towards yourself. Like energies attract. However, if you are full and content, then that is the energy you will draw towards you. So ask your heart, which personality do you want to attract? And begin with changing yourself first.

Recognizing that I the soul being have everything I need right here, is the first step to enjoying a fulfilling relationships with others. When one is content and comfortable in one’s skin then one is not looking for love or approval or confirmation.

Not looking 4

So take another look in the mirror. When you fall in love with the beautiful being that you are, then you give off an aura of confidence and surety and others will be attracted to you in many ways. You will have then guided them to your real beauty rather than to the fictitious one.

It’s time… to start looking in the right direction, that is, inwards. Then others will also begin to see the real you. See you own inner beauty and you will not need to look any further.

© It’s Time…’ by Aruna Ladva, BK Publications London, UK



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8 Responses to “Not Looking”

  • Dr. Karun Kumar

    Very enlightening post !! Sincerely appreciate your effort. It’s all thanks to Brahmakumaris that I awakenend my hidden inner powers & am able to experience “true” happiness & be happy in absence of any external stimulus.

    • Hi Dr Kumar, glad to hear that and continue to enjoy the real happiness that emerges from within… this is what lasts.

  • james milne

    Thank you Aruna i love your weekly posts where i take something from them everytime, you make life beautiful.

    • Thanks James! Sorry for the late response to you and all readers… thanks so much for all your encouragements and support.

  • Farah

    Being alone but not lonely is one of the best things one can learn … Thank you aruna . I love your articles. &Your book traveled with me in the last trip , though I read it before it’s good to have it for light reading On the road …

    • Hi Farah, I’m glad you find this helpful. Sorry for the late responses to you and all readers.

  • Mahesh

    Fantastic quotations and excellent concepts to lead a happy life.


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