Emotional Eruptions

Emotional Eruptions

Emotional eruptions are very similar to volcanic eruptions.  Both emerge from deep below the surface and destroy everything in their path. During a volcanic eruption the lava can flow at a speed of up to 100 mph.  Do our emotions also not feel the same at times? Don’t we feel those emotions are out of control and wreaking havoc in our relationships against our will?

A lot of violence is erupting around the world and we need to take stock of what is really going on… inside.  Not every problem is contrived from the inside, however the solution is to be found within.

When I begin to feel myself react to something, I observe a well of emotion rising up from the solar plexus.  At that time I need to simply observe these emotions, to sit with and identify them.  FEELINGS give rise to THOUGHTS and that is why it is so important not to jump into words or actions, especially at this time, because this relay race between feelings and emotions can take just a few seconds.  If I am not careful, I can very quickly find myself in a place where I don’t want to be.  So best to go in slow motion before damage is done and for which I will later have to repent. My advice, move away if you have to, take time out by going to the bathroom or make an excuse to step out for a few minutes, just to get the emotion back in check.  For example, in the Stockport violence in the streets of the UK, one man who was convicted of violence and assault on policemen, received several years’ jail sentence.  He admitted in court that he was drunk and had let down Stockport, his family and himself. But that realization came a bit too late.

As I observe my emotions on the rise, I breathe deeply and ask myself: Where are these emotions coming up from?  I need courage to sit with the feeling and to look inside and find the wound that I am carrying around.  It is because there is a wound there that a reaction is triggered.  Exactly as if someone touched a physical wound, there would be an instantaneous cry of “ouch”.  This is the reason why sometimes the reaction has no connection with the event, it does not match up to, or have anything to do with the actual reason why something started.  The pain of the wound is greater than the pain of the current situation.  We have to do the job of joining the dots to understand, the why and what, and the overt or obvious, may not always have any bearing to the actual reason.

A re-action is something that has been enacted before, it is in our recording of some past experience, and is being played out again. For example, say your life has been a disappointing one.  You feel you were not able to get or achieve what you wanted to in life.  This resentment has remained buried deep down.  So, when the next (small thing) happens, such as not being able to open the door or find the car and house keys, that resentment surfaces.  It’s simply an accrual of yet another thing that is not going your way which results in frustration and anger due to a lack of control.

Another example could be my need for love and respect.  If I did not get such attention as a child, I will be yearning for it as an adult.  And when some action happens, that looks anything remotely like disrespect or unloving, I will react.  The reaction could be an internal one of sadness; or external like a loud yell and scream.  The opposite could also happen, when there is love coming my way, I will not even stop to think whether it is genuine or a form of manipulation, and will “fall for it”, because in the moment that feels like the balm I need for the wound.

The way I see it, there is me and there is the other or the situation.  In between there is an invisible line.  What happens this side of the line, I am responsible for this, because this is my problem and my issue to resolve.  What happens on the other side of that line, I have no control over.  It is not even my concern.

This does not mean I stand there and continue taking any abuse or ill treatment. I do have to protect myself from the downwind effects coming from others; when people are not in control of themselves and their emotions.  If someone is giving that ‘punch’ that is for them to take care of.  For myself, I need to deal with the emotional eruption that is happening inside of me; my insecurity, fear, animosity, hatred, vengeance, disrespect and so on.  I need to identify these emotions and check where they are emerging in me and why.  As long as there is an emotional reaction, it means I have made it about my story and there is something to heal inside.  Otherwise, my response should be, “OK”.  This OK means, ‘aah ok, this is not about me’, I am perfectly neutral and objective and unaffected.  I have the power to choose to not be drawn into the fray and to keep the wisps of smoke from that inner volcano in check.

In spiritual language we would call that being at peace, a deep inner soul peace.  That is when nothing of the outside triggers anything on the inside.  It absolutely does not mean that I don’t care, but that I am aware of the inner workings of my soul.  And I value my peace and inner balance much more than the point scoring games of the ego.  If we all took care of our own emotional wounds half the world’s problems would be solved.   But the problem is that the pain from these inner wounds is projected outside onto other people and the wider world … and the result of this is conflict and suffering.

It’s Time … to be responsible for keeping my emotional eruptions in check.

© ‘It’s Time…’  by Aruna Ladva, BK Publications London, UK