Building Resilience in the Face of Adversity

Building Resilience in the Face of Adversity

Resilience is an interesting word and one that I am hearing a lot lately.  People are using it frequently in their speeches, asking us to be more resilient than ever before.  As though it’s our fault that we are not able to cope, and not that the situations are getting more and more complex and difficult to manage!  Placing the blame on the people for the increased pressure they are put under, not that it’s the poor choices our leaders are making.  When we have politicians without principles and conscience, obviously our stress and anxiety levels are going to rise.

So, what do the tough do when the going gets tough?  The tough get going!  That’s right.  I cannot change the world around me, there are just too many factors to confront, it would be better that in the meantime I focus on myself and make myself strong from the inside.  That … I start to make myself more resilient because there are too many moving parts in the outer world over which I have no control, but I can control the way I respond to situations, people and challenges.  My power lies in the wise choices that I make.

Resilience is the ability to cope with the many unexpected situations and challenges that come our way in life.  If we are strong from the inside, we will have a better chance of dealing with them and come out stronger and wiser.  Once we have the inner tools, its easy to face any challenge.  We don’t want them to come, but we are prepared for them.  Like packing for any kind of weather, when it comes, we know we will be OK and we are equipped.

What are the signs of resilience?

• You have inner strength and power
• You are an inspiration to others
• You realize your inner strength as you overcome the obstacles, and even that peacefully and lovingly
• You protect your mental health
• You build confidence
• You live by your values of determination and perseverance – never giving up
• You grow and avoid being stuck
• You are resourceful and can trust and be guided by your intuition
• You have a continued sense of purpose
• You maintain a sense of inner balance
• You start to feel good in yourself!

There are many famous people who have shown resilience in their lives.  David Goggins, author, athlete and a retired SEAL in the US Navy. His childhood was a nightmare, coloured by poverty, prejudice and physical abuse.  He turned his life around, through self-discipline, mental toughness and hard work to become “The Fittest (Real) Man in America.”

Dr Wayne Dyer is another person who had a tough start in life.  His father abandoned the family and his mother could not cope with the three children.  Wayne and his brothers ended up in an orphanage.  He became very angry about his life and especially his father’s desertion, but after a lot of hard work he healed his emotions and Wayne was able to let go of his pain and his past.  Dr Dyer became a profound motivational speaker helping many souls through hard and challenging times with his compassion, life experience and spiritual understanding.

There are many others we will have heard of already, such as JK Rowling, Gandhi and Nelson Mandela.  All endured some struggle along their journey only to come out stronger, wiser and richer, their lives becoming an inspiration for many despite the setbacks.  There are many unsung heroes also in our life, and here I am thinking of all the war veterans!

Building resilience is NOT about avoiding the challenges and opting for the easy and more comfortable route.  No way.  It is about seeing the obstacles, the barriers, but heading toward them and finding the inner will and strength to overcome them.  First of all to do this we need some courage and confidence in ourselves.

This is where meditation comes in.  As we meditate, we are able to:

Build a strong mind-set

Every day you have to set your goals and visualise yourself walking towards them.  See nothing in between you and that goal, just a clear path, even though there may be many challenges technically, but in your mind, it’s a clear highway to your goal.

Become emotionally strong

Don’t get swayed by your emotions.  Try to recognize and understand your emotions and watch how they are being triggered.  You can’t always trust your emotions.  You can listen to your feelings, but your emotions are mostly reactionary and coming from your EGO.  Yes, the ego can get hurt, but you are not the ego.  Ego is just a mask you have put on.  You are a pure powerful soul, you do not need to hide behind the ego.  When you can name and process that emotion, then you are better equipped to manage that tension and make thoughtful decisions.

Be flexible and malleable

These are such important qualities.  Life is so unpredictable nowadays, that you definitely need to pack flexibility in your soul suitcase! No matter how much prior planning you may have done, things will always turn out differently and if you are not malleable, then you will break.  Take things lightly, don’t be careless, but learn to read the signals well and go with the flow.

Know there is a deeper reason to everything

You see with your two eyes, but then you need to see with the inner eye also.  Because what you see as an accident or a loss may actually be working to protect you from something else.  So no need to get het-up and upset.  Trust that the drama of life is helping to conspire for you and not against you.

Stay positive with an attitude of learning

There is a lot to learn if you stay positive.  Life is a school and it prepares questionnaires and test papers for you.  If you do not pass the tests, you don’t get the certificate and if you don’t get the certificate then how you can be promoted in life?  Everyone wants to graduate from life’s lessons.

Go gentle on yourself

Resilient people know how to care for themselves.  They befriend themselves, they don’t beat up on themselves.  That is how they keep going.  Talk to yourself as you would to a good friend.

To be born again and rise like the phoenix

Many people have experiences in life that were potentially crushing.  Where they lose everything, whether that was their relationships, family, job, house, money and even health. Having fallen into the seemingly endless cycle of suffering and loss, but somehow like the famous mythological bird, like the phoenix, these souls had some driving force within them and they were able to rebuild their lives once again.  What they had was resilience, determination and focus, and as they rose from the ashes of their life they were renewed and reborn.  Do you feel like the phoenix is rising in your life?

It’s Time… to become more resilient than ever.

© ‘It’s Time…’  by Aruna Ladva, BK Publications London, UK