Are You Seeing Skills and Abilities or Virtues?
We can all be touched by feelings of love and appreciation when we see someone’s good qualities. But are we really seeing their virtues or are we charmed by their acquired skills and talents?
If we were to question ourselves, then we might all come to the same realization at some point in time. Although we are being appreciative about someone, maybe we are more focused on their skills and abilities rather than their innate soul qualities. And what happens when we do this? We become limited in our vision of them, and we actually limit them in our own mind.
Say for example someone is very good at sports. We become their fan and follower. Then perhaps after a couple of decades they retire and they are no longer playing the role of that cricketer or tennis player. Does that mean that now we do not see any good in them, and are they no longer worthy of our admiration and attention? Or perhaps we actually stop seeing them altogether!
Maybe someone is a good secretary or an event organizer, we love them because they are proficient, quick and adept. But what happens when they break an arm and cannot do that sort of work anymore? What happens when someone develops Alzheimer’s and loses their memory… and can’t remind us of our appointments… Do we stop loving them or appreciating them? When we only focus on the physical talents of people, we really start to diminish them as human beings and as individuals. We have to be very careful in our thinking when we start to unconsciously marginalize people in society, especially those most vulnerable, this is a dangerous slippery slope.
When we are drawn to a person’s innate qualities, then we get closer to the soul. When we see their virtues, which are an eternal aspect of their being, then we always remember them from a deeper and more authentic place of being-ness. Not only this, but when we pay attention to the virtues of others, that also reminds us of our own virtues. Perhaps we cannot all be a world famous athlete, singer or dancer, but we can certainly connect and identify with their courage, determination and passion. When we zoom in on the virtues of others, then we begin to value our own virtues too.
By only seeing another’s talents and skill set we find that we create expectations, then when the other soul cannot deliver we get disappointed. But when we zoom in on their virtues we cannot get disappointed, because the virtue is always there. If someone is kind, chances are they will always be kind. Because kindness is an innate quality of the soul, and that even in the most difficult situations they will try to be kind. Virtues stay… always…
So next time you fall in love with someone, make sure it’s with their virtues and innate qualities and not simply their skills, abilities, and what they can do… especially for you! Chances are you will find that your relationships will have a much stronger and happier foundation as you move forward in life.
It’s Time… to appreciate… not just the talents but more importantly the virtues of the soul.
© ‘It’s Time…’ by Aruna Ladva, BK Publications London, UK