Look Within Not Without
In an imperfect world we want all things perfect, especially our relationships! Relationships are a complicated science in and of themselves, they may take many lifetimes to fully understand if that is possible… and if we are lucky. To manage my relationships, all I can do is simply to check and change my part within those relationships.
Everything is being arranged and
orchestrated by me, and by
my sub-conscious meticulously.
As I take a good look at myself under the divine microscope, I see that nothing is happening to me accidentally in life. Everything is being arranged and orchestrated by me, and by my sub-conscious meticulously. At first it may be hard to believe. ‘Why would I ever bring a loss to myself in anyway’ or, ‘Why would I get into an accident’. But as difficult as this nugget of truth may be hard to digest, it really is something I have brought unto myself.
It is said that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Thoughts and actions are the seeds we sow, which we have to reap at some time or the other. We cannot look at the fruit and ask where it came from. Surely, I must have sown the seeds now growing in the garden of my life at some point.
It may not be a result of my conscious willful and directed thinking. But it may certainly be a result of my fears, negativity and my weak and worrisome thoughts that will over time erode my ability to attract the positives and wholesome things into my life. At a deeper level maybe my thoughts, feelings and actions had not been of love and benevolence for others. Maybe they had been lacking in kindness even for myself. For something we often forget is that we do indeed have a relationship with our own self.
Learning to understand what goes on in relationships is the key to self-responsibility. Note for example how you might respond or react in relationships. Not all of us will respond in the same way. For example, say person A has been asked to complete a task and he did not accomplish it. Person B may think it’s due to Person A’s laziness because that is the reason why Person B would not do such things. On the other hand, Person C may think it’s due to Person A’s arrogance that he did not do it, because Person C has ego and that is the reason why he would not do it. Maybe Person D thinks that Person A didn’t understand how to do it. This may be because in the past Person D has found themselves in such situations where they could not finish a task due to a lack of understanding. The point being here is that the way we respond will say a lot about us, much more than it does about others. There could be many reasons why a task is not completed, let me take the more sympathetic approach.
The method and manner in which we interact with others also comes from a deep place of our own life experiences. If one has been through the life of hard knocks and grown up having to do everything by themselves with no help from parents or others, they may be unlikely to want to help others. Not spitefully, but simply in an unconscious way, because they would assume that one simply needs to get on with life. They have learnt to be independent. Whilst the one who is needy and who has been spoilt and had everything done for them, well… they may be waiting for that savior to come along in their life and manage things for them. And when others don’t, then they get mad and the blame game starts which spoils the best of relationships.
I am the reason for everything that
is happening or not happening in my life…
Therefore, there is really no point in getting upset when things are not going the way I expected them to. I am the reason for everything that is happening or not happening in my life – that really is the truth. And the sooner I understand this the quicker I will be able to take charge of my life and the happier I will become. There is no culprit out there. There is no ill-wisher who wants you to be a loser. If you have not put in the required effort, or acquired the skills, or been courageous and adventurous with and in life, then don’t blame others. Look for help in the right places, ask for advice, be fearless enough to learn new things and grow.
If I am the creator of my life, then, things do not just happen by chance, I am creating them. I have knitted the web of actions that I am now seeing as the blanket of my life. I either have to like the creation or not. It does no good blaming anyone for the blanket that I am now wrapped in. The good news is the needles for knitting are in my hands, and I can change the pattern into anything that I so choose at any time.
“If you do what you have always done,
you will get what you always got.”
And this is it. The power to change is all in the knowing that I can change. The key is awareness. It is in my hands now to make positive, mindful and conscious, that is awakened choices today. As the saying goes: “If you do what you have always done, you will get what you always got.”
It’s Time… to do the inner work on me and my relationships. I have to make the inner changes to be able to see the outer fruits of positive change in my life.
© ‘It’s Time…’ by Aruna Ladva, BK Publications London, UK