Keeping Things on the Backburner
Life is complex and we are accustomed to doing many things at one time … we call it multi-tasking. But did you know that many things are also ‘simmering’ on the backburner of your mind as you go about your day? Let’s take a look.
If something is on the backburner, then it is temporarily not dealt with or considered not important enough to give attention to right now, but that does not negate the fact that it’s there. Examples could be trying to solve stressful relationship issues; clearing up some fact or misunderstanding; trying to forget a hurt; feeling insecure about one’s role or importance; desiring all sorts of things and feeling inadequate … the list is endless.
We may convince ourselves that: “It’s OK. It’s not bothering me in this moment …” but I beg to differ. Things simmering on the backburner actually affect what is cooking on the front burner! We need to give time to what is lying dormant in the inner recesses of our mind. We need to kind of bring that to the front of the ‘stove’, to open the pot and see what’s cooking.
All cooking takes attention whether it is on the stove, in front or the back or on the side ready and waiting to be cooked. Preparation and having the right ingredients makes all cooking easy. The same is true for our life. Everything that I get affected by, give my mind to, or allow myself to become triggered by, they all take my time and attention. The meal does not get cooked in time and neither does my life pan out as I had planned. (Excuse the pun.)
The other important point I want to emphasize is that nothing exists in isolation. For example, when I go to do something or speak with someone, everything sitting on the backburner of my mind, will be mixed up with this moment. Such as if I am insecure, then as I speak with this person, my insecurity will come across in my interaction. If I am desirous and empty inside, then as I go to do things, it will be with the expectation to fulfill those desires. If I am feeling sorry for myself, then I will not have much confidence in what I do.
This may all sound obvious to you, and we have probably all been there, but the point is: What are we doing about it? How much are we checking the content of those pots on the backburner? How about taking those pots off the gas altogether?
It’s the unresolved things, the uncooked things that are taking up more of our time and energy than the actual “cooking” itself … We can see this when we have a task to do, which we really are resistant to, just like decluttering our house. It is the thought of doing that task which is more tiring than the doing itself.
We have to be very careful about “spillage”. That is, we have to be vigilant of our thoughts and feelings, and make sure there is no “spillage” from old wounds of the past, where someone has “hurt us” or we have hurt ourselves by replaying their words and actions, this will infect our present interactions with souls. Because just like any oil spillage at sea, there is some damage to the natural marine life of the ocean both short and long term, the eco-balance becomes upset. So too when our own thoughts and feelings spill out, we infect and upset the eco-balance of our relationships with others.
Why do we recycle old thoughts and feelings from the past? Why do we re-ingest this stuff in our minds by playing it over and over again? That is like eating stale food; left overs. So not only did we not enjoy that conversation, we were upset by that interaction or argument with the other soul and now again we are repeating… When we do this, we are just creating indigestion (suffering) for our own selves. This pattern of consuming “leftovers”, and chewing on old dramas in the mind has no nutritional value.
Right now, in this moment, it has nothing to do with others, it is definitely “my stuff”, but what to do with it and how to get rid of it? We have to place it where it belongs. Either leave it in the pot, to enjoy and savour, or throw it away in the bin if it is not digestible, this applies to both our thoughts and food.
Go back and reflect over something only once. Look for the learning. After that to regurgitate the experience, you are going into a loss, in fact it is toxic and unhealthy for both body and mind. Remember that stale thoughts and feelings also deplete our peace and happiness.
There is nothing quite like freshly cooked food daily and eating that. Hence the need to meditate daily and to create a blend of pure peaceful and powerful thoughts to nourish our mind for a healthy wealthy life.
It’s Time … to cook yourself a delicious meal and create a lovely life.
© ‘It’s Time…’ by Aruna Ladva, BK Publications London, UK