How Do You Make People Feel?
People will forget what you said,
People will forget what you did,
But they will never forget how you made them feel.
The above is a quote by the late Maya Angelou.
How many times have you been inspired or ‘expired’ as a result of what someone said to you? But check, was it really what they said, or the feeling you were left with as a result of their presence and words?
And have you ever stopped to ask yourself how you make other people feel? We are conscious of the feeling we are left with as a result of people’s words and behaviours, but how often do we reflect on the impact we have on others?
Kindness and hostility are not words – they are feelings. As we recollect our childhood memories, what left the greatest impact? It was perhaps the teachers’ reassurance or the bully’s taunt. All words have flown away, yet those feelings have stayed locked in our soul ‘til today.
It is often said that words are only 7% of our communication. Tone, intonation, body language, a person’s presence and their reputation etc. are so many other aspects that speak to us at the same time as their words.
When throngs of people come to listen to a famous guru or a management pundit, that is not his or her time to impress the people. He or she has done that work beforehand which is why the followers have arrived; wanting to soak in more. And ‘impress’ is a key word – a positive impression has been left on the followers’ souls.
But how do we deal with negative impressions being cast our way? There was another very powerful lady, Eleanor Roosevelt, who claimed: ‘No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.’ So this raises the question: Is the one ‘throwing’ the feeling more powerful, or the one ‘catching’ it?
I tend to agree with Eleanor! No one can make us feel anything because consciously or unconsciously we choose our responses. It is us who give our power over to the other party, like tossing over our heart to them for them to play with the strings as they wish.
I believe that when Maya spoke her wise words, she was intending for us to take heed of our deeds and to ensure that we leave good feelings in others at all times. And when Eleanor spoke hers, it was to safeguard us against what others are throwing our way. Both are equally important.
Our actions and our aura speak louder than our words. One way to check this would be to ask: are people happier when we arrive, or when we leave? If we are always giving others respect, honour and a good feeling in general, then who would not want to be around us? If on the other hand we always condemn and criticize, people will run a mile. If our words are sweet but our thoughts are not, guess what is being picked up most of the time?
We also need to remember that we are all mirrors for one another. What I see in others is a reflection of what is within myself. This is one of the reasons why the yogi will always aim to see the positive in others rather than look at their faults. It helps us to be more positive and allows them to rise to that vision for themselves.
It is our duty as spiritual beings to choose to create the highest vibration at all times – to create good feelings and benevolent wishes for all. It begins with ourselves.
In the end, everything is about feelings. We all do what we do because we want to feel something – powerful, peaceful, loved, appreciated, honored. The essence of life is to express and experience the highest and most uplifting feelings.
It’s time… to check: are people happier when we arrive or when we leave? People will not remember what you say, but they will remember how you make them feel – glad or sad!
Share these thoughts! ‘It’s Time…’ is spreading far and wide! Feel free to forward this wisdom, but to avoid any karmic rebound, please acknowledge its source – ‘It’s Time…’ by Aruna Ladva, BK Publications London